moving day come and

moving day come and gone, she sweats, I sweat, hot sticky air in between large
objects hefted down stairs and then up again only to go dawn and up and back for
more. Moving is little more than punishment for the poor that can't afford their
own housing. Too bad apartments, like musical equipment can't come with a
"rent-to-own" policy. I think it would generate more interest than the
traditional lease arrrangment and quite possibly resolve some of those
"ownership" issues that renters often feel, like "I don't own the place, so why
not build that bon fire in the middle of the kitchen." Okay, so that's more
Gloria's "ownership" issue than mine, but still. Life is good. I'm staying out
of trouble and busy on all fronts. Good for me. It distracts me from the fact
that I have a hot little chippy movin in and the fact that we both get along so
fabulously well. I want to keep that going though, so I stay away. It;s for the
best as I'm kind of an old fart that is pretty traditional. I suppose I need to
get away from those thoughts of attraction and coital bliss. Fortuantely I've
been given a new lease on how to view reality since my encounter with the
goddess. Yeah, sometimes I think I'm just sinking in my own misery and that all
of this is a sign of my impending insanity, but at the same time, I can really
think of worse ways to lose it. So if I'm going to lose it in an ecstatic bliss
love of life and all that lives and breathes around me sort of way then I may as
well enjoy it while it's happening. It could be so much worse. The play that I
was working on and am destined to put more time on is tight. Go to
www.meatmen.net to see the web site. It's a funny play too, although not nearly
as funny after seeing it 500 times, it's still consistantly good. I have to
thank everyone who let me work on it for constantly forgiving my mistakes and
covering up for them. Also for letting this amatuer hack join the production and
do what I could to help out. I've learned more than I ever thought possible. Now
I get to put it to the test as people will be out of town and I will be left in
a very important position. Time to step up. But back to the main story, new
roommate that is lust object. Okay, okay, I'll get over that... not a problem.
And I've sworn that I will never directly let on that I find her drop dead
gorgeous... besides, this can only serve to aid me in the future as all females
want to know that a man is worthy of such a hottie and I have to say that I got
more serious looks the other night when we were out then I do when I'm by
myself. I'm a loner by habit though so we'll see how long that lasts with the
going out and the partying and the people and the places... it's all good. I'm
ready to be active and get out and see life. It's nice, no attachments, and very
buddhist of me to feel that way, although I know that I'm less then enlightened
if something so casual as a breif passing encounter with a soul that I am
entertwined with can throw me so much... in my defense though, it was the first
time I experianced such a thing and I'll be damned if it wasn't just a little
freaky. It's nice to know that if that level of existence is really accessible
to the rest of the world though, that I am somehow in tune with it. I don't know
how, but there it was... like I said, perhaps it was just a fleeting moment of
utter insanity, like PKDick in valis, maybe the little pink laser of
enlightenment hit me just right at that coincidental moment... who knows. But if
things like that are going to happen around my new roomy, I'm all up for her
moving in... it's going to be some fun having her around, and I'm beyond animal
enough to curb my own attraction to a comfortable level. We'll talk about it,
that way she's not surprised byany of it, and that way, after exposing the
truth, it'll be easier to absorb and move on. None of it will come as a surprise
to anyone... not at this point. it's comforting to know that at least. and I'll
feel better as soon as I've verbalized it and said, "alright, I feel this, and
I'm going to do everything I can to not play into it, so if you ever find me
failing at that, tell me to back the fuck off..." I usually get hints that are
posed to me in such a way. You know, those subtle statments like "Fuck off
Mother Fucker"... I'm real quick with those... anyway, more later...

j-
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